How To Talk To Your Child About Puberty- How I Did It

This is exactly what I had to deal with just a few weeks ago.
I have a nine year old daughter, and I had to sit her down to tell her all of the In's and outs of puberty.

 My mother had previously pointed out to me that my daughter was developing rather earlier than the average child her age, so it would be best to inform her now what to expect.

Puberty can be a scary topic for a parent, and in my case I had to first overcome the denial that my daughter had grown - to me she is still my little girl and after all, how do you talk to your child about puberty?

I had a plan of attack, first I would find a health website that showed a woman's uterus. Then I grabbed some props- a tampon, water, shot glass and a menstrual pad and I booted the boys out of the house for a while, so it was just the two of us.

Without trying to scare the life out of my daughter, I asked her if she knew anything about a woman's period not knowing whether or not her friends might've beaten me to it. Thankfully she said "no", so I began with my first ever puberty talk.

Step 1:

I began with telling her WHY we needed to have a talk,which was that her body is starting to go through noticeable changes. It was also important that I told her that at anytime during our talk on puberty, she could ask questions even if she thought they might be silly.

Step 2:

Once she was happy with that, I then went on to tell her what happens to a woman when she is going through a menstrual cycle. Now this is where my picture of a uterus came in handy...lol!

I talked about why a woman has a monthly cycle, with the egg travelling into the uterus and when it is unfertilised it is then passed from the body by the menstrual flow or blood.

Step 3:

Now came the scientific exercise....I told her about what we woman  use to combat the menstrual flow, using tampons and sanitary pads and how we use them. With the pad, I told her to pour a little water on it to see what happens, then with the tampon, I told her to put it in the shot glass that had a bit of water in it.

She was amazed with the tampon expanding and absorbing all of the liquid and too my surprise she said "this is just like a science experiment mum!" Here I was thinking she would be freaking out!

Step 4:

Discussing at all times, that getting your period is not painful like a cut finger etc. but sometimes what it feels like, is like having a little pee, but most of the time you don't feel it at all apart from period cramps now and then.

Step 5:

At this point, she was bombarding me with a lot of questions, which was great because I knew she was listening to what I was saying.

This is where she was curious about how an egg, turns into a baby.
Taking my time I had the "sex talk" with her. I told my daughter about intercourse and how babies are made. I assured her that kissing a boy will not make her pregnant. ( this seems to be a huge misconception with kids)

We discussed what contraception is and that when she is of age, and she is thinking about having sex with her boyfriend.... (God forbid!) that she will come to me to talk about it and we could look at contraception for her.
I do have to say however that I sternly told her that she should at least wait until she is the age of 25.

Yes, I know I am dreaming but a mother can dream!

Conclusion:

It is important to take the motherly role and educate your child on puberty, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Using pictures help - can you imagine what a child may think when you tell them what a "fallopian tube" is!

Make it less scary by introducing a science experiment. Most children absorb things better by doing.

Above all, have an open discussion, encourage feedback and questions let her know she can talk to you about anything.

Now when my daughter watches an ad on t.v for tampons, she tells me "I know what those are for now mum"

Mum and Son's First Day of Playcentre

This year I decided that I will take my son to playcentre. I thought at the time by taking him to playcentre, it would help him to learn to pronounce words.....REAL words that is not baby gobbity goop, as well as developing social skills and fine tune his motor skills.

Lately, my son has developed a strong "love" for his Nan. Whenever she is around, he will stick by her side until we either pry him off her when she leaves OR when she secretly sneaks out the door when he is not looking.

Nan enjoyed the added attention from her grandson, however it did not seem to fade.....not even a little! This started to become an issue, as my son turned into a "paua" (Abalone) - a shellfish that sucks to a rock and never lets go until someone comes along to pry it off. The way he was behaving with his nan, became exhausting for her, although she would not say so. I could see her getting tired from him being so clingy.

So that made me more determined to take him to playcentre in the hope that mingling with the other children MIGHT prevent him being clingy to his nan.

Off to playcentre we went. As we hopped out of the car he seemed to light up as he noticed the other children playing in the playground. "This is great!" I thought, he looked excited and children are usually magnets to other children, so this must be what he needs- to mingle with HIS peers.

We were welcomed with many smiles and eager mum's wanting to meet the new arrivals. After a tour of the facility and going through the safety rules and regulations, I was finally able to let my son explore the playcentre playground with the other children at play. All was going well as we started in the sandpit..............but we never left the sandpit. He stayed there staring  at everyone.
At one time, another child approached him and he turned and gave that child a growl and the "evil eye", I was SO shocked as I never knew he could even make that face!

After much encouragement, I was able to get him to the food table to have morning tea but again that was it.....he was not going to budge any further than that.
Leaving playcentre was easy, he was happy to wave to all when we left to come home (the most sociable action he had done all morning).

Travelling home I thought that today must have been a bit of a culture shock for him, as new experiences usually are, so I never once thought that going to playcentre might've been hard on him! For a child they usually fit into their surroundings really well and the adult sometimes struggles, but not so this time.

I am still hoping that it may help him in some area's in development and YES we will be heading back to playcentre again next week, but we will take it easy......with no hidden agenda from mum next time.

*For more information on Playcentre click here: http://www.playcentre.org.nz/

A Woman of Many Hats.

Mahia New Zealand

I wonder if life would be great if God made men to think like a woman. When you think about it, it doesn't seem all that bad.

Take my partner we'll call him "Farmer". Farmer has no issues coming home and lying on the couch watching t.v. As for me I come home exhausted, but I am still able to turn bathtime into fun time, cook a "master chef" meal, host visitors when they come calling, feed the kids, wash the dishes, put the kids in bed for the night and if I am lucky at the end of it all, I am able to watch an hours t.v  with a cup of tea soaking up the peace and quiet before bed and still do all of it again the next day.

Now if Farmer was like a woman, he would notice how busy I was and he could play submarines in the bath or cook like Gordon Ramsay for tea or maybe rub my feet at the end of the night..........rather than catching flies on the couch.

We women are very talented, look at all of the hats we wear in one day, take for instance today. I had my doctor's hat on to tend to my sons bump on the head that swelled up like a mountain. I wore a teachers hat helping my daughter with her multiplication tables, Master chef hat to see what magic I could perform in the kitchen with lamb chops, hot sauce and Bok Choi, Army Generals hat to perform my very regimented routine in the mornings to get my daughter off to school and not in the room playing Barbie, Masseuse hat massaging an over dramatic  farmer's shoulder, Waitress hat for whipping up some hearty sandwiches and cakes (from scratch) in 30 minutes for farmer's morning tea the list goes on........

Wouldn't it be a perfect world if we as women were recognised for EVERYTHING we do, and all of the hats we wear, if that was so, we would be "Masters" in every occupation out there but in this less than perfect world we have to just settle with the occasional "you did a good job" or "thank you".

As I look over at farmer on the couch catching flies, I wonder what the world would be like if he thought more like a woman................but then again I don't think I could handle it very well, after all how special would us women be if everyone in the world were masters!

My Children